Thursday, April 25, 2013

the loney shadow



The lonely shadow
My shadow weeps; it holds my lost and lonely heart 12
It binds, it tears it grips and stares 8
Never to depart. 5

What pain I feel that gropes and steals my very youth? 13
It strains me with a weary pull
It is my only truth

Darkness numbness I fight to claim the sanity of mind
It pulls me down it chokes my love
It renders my soul blind

The pain, the sorrow, the agony of life
I laugh in discontent
I fumble for a knife

My lonely shadow will not leave the essence of my pain
The world fades away gently
My blood pours down the drain

the loney shadow



The lonely shadow
My shadow weeps; it holds my lost and lonely heart 12
It binds, it tears it grips and stares 8
Never to depart. 5

What pain I feel that gropes and steals my very youth? 13
It strains me with a weary pull
It is my only truth

Darkness numbness I fight to claim the sanity of mind
It pulls me down it chokes my love
It renders my soul blind

The pain, the sorrow, the agony of life
I laugh in discontent
I fumble for a knife

My lonely shadow will not leave the essence of my pain
The world fades away gently
My blood pours down the drain

the loney shadow



The lonely shadow
My shadow weeps; it holds my lost and lonely heart 12
It binds, it tears it grips and stares 8
Never to depart. 5

What pain I feel that gropes and steals my very youth? 13
It strains me with a weary pull
It is my only truth

Darkness numbness I fight to claim the sanity of mind
It pulls me down it chokes my love
It renders my soul blind

The pain, the sorrow, the agony of life
I laugh in discontent
I fumble for a knife

My lonely shadow will not leave the essence of my pain
The world fades away gently
My blood pours down the drain

Monday, March 11, 2013

Thw Contemplative Man



A man and a woman spend a day in the sun. Eating, drinking laughing. They ponder about life family and love. He stares into the depths of her beautiful brown eyes and sees intelligence, creativity and compassion. She is a woman so full of pride and integrity. He looks closely at her and wonders. Where is the source of her courage and strength? Trials of life have torn her soul through tumultuous times, have made her sigh deep profound heaves and have brought so many tears to a face that is too beautiful to cry. Yet she is strong. She is brave and continues to fight with an innate passion that will never be destroyed. The man absorbs this quietly. He feels the warm breath of the wind, the rays of the sun entering his skin and contemplates. He feels a strong connection to this woman, he does not understand it yet he does not resist. This woman has somehow broken through barriers of forgotten love, past pains of rejection and fear, bitterness and anger. He does not feel these things. He only feels a sense of calm, quietness and connection with this woman and although she is so different she he feels she is somewhat the same. He looks at her and smiles. His heart is divided although he will gently resist thoughts of desire and he tilts his head to the left and listens more carefully to the words spoken by her. Her voice is like a melody her laugh is a sound so sweet he is enraptured by it. He is a slave to her laughter. He lives to makes this woman laugh. He wants to protect her, demand more of her and watch her succeed. She smiles her devilish smile. There is a sparkle in her eye. The meal is over. He pays. They leave quietly. The moments of connection slowly diminish, although they are not forgotten. She smiles gently at him. He is happy.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The darker parts of thailand

Stale white concrete burns, humidity, fans creaking and grinds like the earth moving.. emptiness, nothingness. Motorbikes which purr like dragons breathing. Bikes whine their way through lonely road. Bars, red lights, tar and dirt. The air stings of sweet spice and sewage. Burning chilli, cracked plastic chairs, a sticky road, the stench of fish.

Lonely bars. Empty smiles that hide darkness, sadness and pain. Faces filled with longing and greed. Cracked red lipstick, words deprived of truth, guttural utterances, shining teeth, jet black hair. Eyes cold. Flashes of spite, envy and fear. The trickster ploys. The Cobra awaits.

Folds of blue and red dresses float seductively, convincingly and with purpose. Countless tattoos freshly scaring the sweet skin of youth. Sadness looms, green felt tarnished, ripped and brown. Heels shine laced with cheap diamonds. Mouths moving like broken records. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. The words repeat, the worlds infuse. Cheap love, whores of truth, lies and pain. Guarded hearts and open legs, lies, flies, odors, chains, pain. Sweet cows breath lined with honey whiskey. Ice melts, beer glistens and warms. The night ebbs away. The sun slowly rises.

The wandering heart

Her hair laps at her neck as it gently bounces in the breeze. She smiles the shine touches her eyes and she pulls back her hair from her face. Her hips move with the grace of nature and she sways majestically, mesmerizing me with her awe and tranquility. I wonder what will become of her. I watch closely as she stops at the place the beach meets the sand and she stares into the ocean. I am sitting here alone looking into the nothingness of the horizon. Her eyes are a clear brown mixed with specks of green and they glimmer with the reflection of the sun. Her skin is tanned and her dress is long. There is just the two of us and the only sounds are of the ocean waves sweetly kissing the shore and the seagulls shriek and moan. She stops and turns around. She faces me and looks down at me and my brown towel. 'Hello' she says in a quiet tone seductively sweet which almost purrs with femininity and vivaciousness. I smile and look deep into her eyes. I say nothing as I have nothing to say. I wonder what she wants and if she wants something I am sure that she will say more. She notices that I do not reply and in response she walks over and stands over me with a hint of curiosity and speaks again 'why are you here alone?' she asks. 'We enter this world alone, is it that unfitting that I experience this world in the same fashion?' I pause and look at her quietly 'I have come here to ponder on the essence of life and meditate on that'.

'Well what is so important that you wish to meditate upon?' she inquires.

'Death and love, as what else really matters?' I reply. She looks at me again this time with caution. Who the hell is this guy she must think? Some crazy lone bastard on the shore, looking at the horizon pretending to be a Buddhist monk.

I say quietly 'Love is being fearless to swim this ocean and having faith that you will make it to the other side. If you cannot surrender yourself to the vastness of the sea, then your soul will remain safe and calm although unsatisfied and lonely. The sea can destroy us yes, but without the courage to battle with the universe will will remain lonely and experience nothing'.

'She looks at me intently her beautiful eyes pierce into my very heart. In her eyes I read love pain and hope. There is not a trace of fear. She smiles again and begins to walk away from me following the shore line of the beach. But as she goes she says 'perhaps.' and pauses 'but for now I think I will keep on walking' and she does. She walks and becomes a speck into the distance and eventually fades into nothingness.  I smile and continue to meditate.