replacing the fear

I sit here with fear threatening to devour me as it slowly wishes to seduce my mind and dominate my rationale. I breathe in deeply, clear my mind opening to the spectacular oneness of the universe allow myself to be free replacing the deceptiveness of the mind with feelings of love and wonder. Regardless of the energies that encounter me I will remain connected to the source and will remain free. Let those feeling be a guiding hand my friend and align yourself with them. You will find a sense of courage and certainty that is deserving yours and is internally beautiful. Peace my brother.

disheartened sunday

I am sit here alone my room. My twin monitors reflecting back at me incessantly almost as a reminder that although they provide light and a method to access the interconnectedness to the cybernetic reality, they do not provide any spiritual nourishment and in contrary they subtly steal my energy like a leach, cunningly sucking the blood out of a limb which slowly tires me. For some reason my heart feels heavy. I am burdened with a sense of desire and a sense of hopelessness. I feel fear that I could again desire passion and connectivity. I wish to remain alone although alone and complete. My energy feels somewhat displaced as in truth although my focus should remain steered to the path of reason and sensibility I feel a subconscious undercurrent which threatens to uproot my footing and change my reality yet again. I can feel the path of resistance. It feels like a path of internal conflict and inner torment. One which seems to provide the fuel to create a negative being instead of one of love, truth and joy. I will endeavour to claw slowly to the depths of my very soul and relinquish the fears which have been disguised to protect me. I accept reality, accept and embrace love and choose the path of courage wholeheartedly now and forever in the eternal moment. Peace.

can science define morality?

does anyone know the answer to this question? I think not.

seeking truths and love

One again I ponder life from within. I peer within the depth of my soul to seek truths about myself that instinctively I wish to ensepulcher forever, to ensure that those desires, feelings and thoughts may never resurface to challenge who and what I have become.

Today my thoughts have been inspired by passion. Passion of love, passion of belonging and of attraction. I have for many years not felt worthy of love. I have felt a connection with a girl that I know, she is beautiful from within more than what she knows. She is passionate flirtatious and everything feminine like the ocean, Words cannot echo her essence as one can not bottle up the stars in the sky or decipher the intricate details of nature and the universe. I hold no fears of what shall become and no expectations of what the future may bear, I only wish to feel alive and connect my energy of one and the same to give the gift of love, wholly passionately and relentlessly so that she may feel completely loved safe and can surrender herself with grace to me..

some fun just quickly!!

I just got my voice mail reactivated today and because normally I hate voice mail and I am always left with gay messages from people that I work with I had this great idea to inspire me to a) love myself and b) be really funny.. and that was to ring my own number.. leave detailed messages about wanting to talk to this steve guy.. cause I heard that he was a real awesome dude. While I would be talking I will be leaving a full list why I love this guy thats heaps awesome but in truth I hadn't even met him and I just wanted to hang out. It kinda feels like when I was a teenager and had a crush on a heaps hot girl and wanted to hang out but I considered her to be some much more than what I was and I was in awe :) anyways after that the point is to forget about them and then when I am at work for real is to remember something that is kinda funny and go through my voice mails and It would a) cheer me up and b) be really funny :)

I love it.. its a fun way to stay posttive and remind myself in a positive way how great I am and too laugh :-)

a feeling of grattitude

I have pondered many things over the last couple of days. Life it seems, provides no limitations of grand philosophies to contemplate and discuss. I sometimes feel, when I have brushed the surface of something truly amazing I am left with a niggling thought that I have merely seen a single snowflake. And for the first time in my life I believe I have really seen the perfection of a snowflake. Although I am left amazed to appreciate the imitate details of its individual design I have no comprehension about how the snowflake came to be and furthermore I am ignorant to how a singular snowflake is part of the greater snowstorm. Am I even aware that the snowstorm even exists? As I cannot understand the simpler aspects of the equation I am left feeling somewhat disheartened and simultaneously inspired as I know in my heart that science although vigorous in its attempt to answers questions simply provides more questions to make intangible  tangible..

I will now forsake the task of writing to express my ideas in a manner which sounds deeply profound and philosophical and begin to write what feels more natural. I desire to combine this skill which is a partial motivation for beginning this blog initially..

Why have I called this post a feeling of gratitude? Well there are a number of reasons. First and foremost I feel grateful as I have rested my tired brain on the bed for a period of 30mins at 6pm in the evening I feel more vitalised and refreshed than I have felt all day. My energy feels like it is being spent like a teenagers allowance and although I desire to clutch to them tightly it eludes me with a feeling of mockery. My body allows me to carry through a day of work with enough vigour to complete my tasks however leaves me lacking drive to pour my remaining energy into anything else which exists in my life which is remotely personal such as study, intellectual conversations, random excersise and general humour ect.

Secondly I remain basked in a feeling of grandeur as I feel the essence of my human soul now somewhat satisfied that my life for the first time is heading in the right direction. For too long my passion for living has been suppressed, my creativity malnourished and my brain the sophisticated, intelligent, amazing machine has remained neglected in a sea of complacency, mundane unchallenging activity and deprived from real, meaningful thought. I will not even begin to talk about the self harm which it has endured from countless nights of poisonous substances which have been consumed to destroy, silence and numb the very organ I am now praising. The power of the brain is indeed a spectacular thing. I feel uplifted to join force with my soul and brain to begin to utilise the gifts given by the universe itself and become more than I ever have been.

I could write for many more pages and still not clearly define in this language not worthy to conduct emotions how I truly feel. And this would beg the question, even if could explain them perfectly in a manner that I felt was sufficient and adequate completely could you interpret them vastly differently in your own reality of vision though your filters of human experience? The point of this paragraph is to focus on one concept and human experience. The simple satisfaction and delight that a man feels when his spirit and mind are aligned with the universe. The simple peace this brings to oneself is truly amazing. What purpose do we have in this universe? How and when can a man find this purpose? And the feeling of gratitude and simple satisfaction when not the goal is accomplished but the path is clear.. that my friends in my heart of hearts is a beautiful thing.. something to think about. I could add a lot more to this but I will leave it at that.. peace my friends..
 

the disire to search for love..

What is love? where does the innate desire to seek another to nurture and love us devise from? why is it although I choose to bury this drive to connect with some being who is a mirror reflection of my inner self  who can some how complete me I often win but sometimes I loose. the sexual urges of man. which burns like a furnace inside a moving machine, there, evident and although not the sole form of drive provides us with a primal force that wants to be unleashed, unrestrained and satisfied.. I wonder in simple self defeat.. why do I need completion, why do I need connection? am I not significant and complete in my own light? I have no desire to love again. I want to walk forward in this life alone, in a solitary path of oneness, content with my own presence, content with who I am as a man, giving my gifts freely to the world without fear of retribution and the fear of feeling inadequate because I choose not to find strength in another..if a man wants love, why not look into the stars for wonder? let your heart run free of pain, restraint and fear and resign oneself to the passion of the universe, wholly, lovingly and in bliss..

the friday evening

with nothing more that some crappy baked mince pasta to digest, occupied with a sweet cup of earl grey tea I succumb once more to be in the presence of this soul sapping desktop computer to type away my congested feelings.. where has the day gone I mutter.. lost in a day of university.. conversations about life, history, modernity, self help, status, evolution and ideals of government and the list continues.. sometimes I wish I could bottle every idea frantically and keep it in my brain forever as I fear that I may loose the essence of my thoughts with the beginning of a new day.. do thoughts die? where do they go after they have been barrelling around the the millions of fibre optic connections in the matter that we conceive that is our brain.. where do all the thoughts go? sometimes I feel like they are being projected from our vibrating bodies of our very self and blasted into the universe at a speed faster than we can comprehend.. faster than the speed of light only to have instantaneously be slammed back into our very selves after fully circulating hundreds of times around the universe.. what are thoughts? how much energy does it take to build a thought and how much time does it take to destroy one? what is real? how do we define what real even is? how much of me is me and how much of it has been a creation of my own and a creation of the society i find myself involuntarily intrinsically connected with? i ponder these thing with some thought and rather an indifference due to fatigue..

my day on this planet however cannot be truly complete until i am left with some embarrassment of some kind. i will leave the details about this out but i feel already the pented up thoughts dispersing., i feel fatigue and lethargic I must pray for absolution... to a god who i know not exsists and allow myslef to breathe unhibitated now and for every second of my life..

trust in yourself in your love and perfection in all things that are real and others which are not... and let in bring you peace and love

good days my friends

stevo

the corporate world

i had to go to a meeting today. it was an introductory meeting between our company and a competitor which has been bought out by our company. i have realised in that moment that regardless of what you think matters right now.. how do you really know it does? what is the test and where is the scale to gauge your success? if a man spends all his time picking up coins to make a dollar and loves it does it make him any less than a man who begs for a few cents?

the first blogg ever!!

Hi this is Stevo. This is my new blog!! its all a bit new and flashy but that's ok we can roll with that. let me me just give a little introduction. I am 29 years old guy that is looking to vent, explore and get some ideas out there. I am by trade a real estate valuer, working in a tireless boring industry that is soul sapping and destroying. I would like to remove myself from this leach of a job.. purge the corporate industry from my life and live free like a bird who has escaped the cages of domestication. I want to go somewhere else, talk about everything and anything and document how I feel about life and the world.. So any ways what I am going to do is blog about stuff, talk some shit basically and sometimes make it sound beautiful and other times just rant for no reason.. right now I am listening to triple j the John Safran show.. Its awesome... I would love people to comment and give me different perspectives, different insights in how to live, how to be free, what makes peope tick, how to be inspired, what makes you laugh and how to embrace the moment without fear every second of every day..Hope you can contribute, I will read and respond to all of them as much as I can. I am happy to do this for myself have only one follower being my mum and love life in peace. Welcome to the passion of stevo people. Enjoy my freinds. I sure will... And one last thing that is really important. I want randomness. I want to write essays about randomness.. and yessss.. get into randomness.. that is very important as well :) Peace out - homies. i love you all..