I have pondered many things over the last couple of days. Life it seems, provides no limitations of grand philosophies to contemplate and discuss. I sometimes feel, when I have brushed the surface of something truly amazing I am left with a niggling thought that I have merely seen a single snowflake. And for the first time in my life I believe I have really seen the perfection of a snowflake. Although I am left amazed to appreciate the imitate details of its individual design I have no comprehension about how the snowflake came to be and furthermore I am ignorant to how a singular snowflake is part of the greater snowstorm. Am I even aware that the snowstorm even exists? As I cannot understand the simpler aspects of the equation I am left feeling somewhat disheartened and simultaneously inspired as I know in my heart that science although vigorous in its attempt to answers questions simply provides more questions to make intangible tangible..
I will now forsake the task of writing to express my ideas in a manner which sounds deeply profound and philosophical and begin to write what feels more natural. I desire to combine this skill which is a partial motivation for beginning this blog initially..
Why have I called this post a feeling of gratitude? Well there are a number of reasons. First and foremost I feel grateful as I have rested my tired brain on the bed for a period of 30mins at 6pm in the evening I feel more vitalised and refreshed than I have felt all day. My energy feels like it is being spent like a teenagers allowance and although I desire to clutch to them tightly it eludes me with a feeling of mockery. My body allows me to carry through a day of work with enough vigour to complete my tasks however leaves me lacking drive to pour my remaining energy into anything else which exists in my life which is remotely personal such as study, intellectual conversations, random excersise and general humour ect.
Secondly I remain basked in a feeling of grandeur as I feel the essence of my human soul now somewhat satisfied that my life for the first time is heading in the right direction. For too long my passion for living has been suppressed, my creativity malnourished and my brain the sophisticated, intelligent, amazing machine has remained neglected in a sea of complacency, mundane unchallenging activity and deprived from real, meaningful thought. I will not even begin to talk about the self harm which it has endured from countless nights of poisonous substances which have been consumed to destroy, silence and numb the very organ I am now praising. The power of the brain is indeed a spectacular thing. I feel uplifted to join force with my soul and brain to begin to utilise the gifts given by the universe itself and become more than I ever have been.
I could write for many more pages and still not clearly define in this language not worthy to conduct emotions how I truly feel. And this would beg the question, even if could explain them perfectly in a manner that I felt was sufficient and adequate completely could you interpret them vastly differently in your own reality of vision though your filters of human experience? The point of this paragraph is to focus on one concept and human experience. The simple satisfaction and delight that a man feels when his spirit and mind are aligned with the universe. The simple peace this brings to oneself is truly amazing. What purpose do we have in this universe? How and when can a man find this purpose? And the feeling of gratitude and simple satisfaction when not the goal is accomplished but the path is clear.. that my friends in my heart of hearts is a beautiful thing.. something to think about. I could add a lot more to this but I will leave it at that.. peace my friends..
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